nervous
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Living with anxiety is like living in an invisible box. It has 7 walls, one for every day of the week and a glass ceiling to remind you that you’ll never escape. The box’s name is fear.
A place to ourselves as we cleaned off the shelves
My, how things pile over time
Our hearts were racing as our fears we were facing
The whole night, I ate maybe a dime
Everyone else seems to be used to this
They've all been through here
This beautiful water
Many my age have practically sailed
Through this whole ocean by now
I know I'm behind
My life consists of heartbreak,
It's all made up of shit.
Confusion is synonymous
With life and life with it.
I hate to look in mirrors
To see what's looking back:
The sunken eyes, the fatty thighs,
Dear Joshua,
We left when it could still be night.
My eyes still bore the evidence of sleep deprivation.
January 6, 2018
Mr. Addme Toyourlist, Assistant Dean of Admission
University of My Dreams
1 Inspired Way
I first started really writing poetry in ninth grade. They had a poetry slam at my school, and I had some friends who were going so I checked it out. It was so beautiful, the words they said and how they were said.
heart sinks.
ears hot.
eyes wander.
and hands fiddle.
Don't think or else it becomes real.
Hold back.
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
no response.
your actions are real,
Tick Tock
The clock above our old TV tormented me,
it’s red numbers screaming distress every time they blinked
Where is he?
The first time i ever saw you i was lost for words, but not for the reasons you may think. You see i was lost for words because you sat right next to me and barely acknowledged my existence.
He made her uncomfortable.
Not uncomfortable in the sense that his presence was not desired,
But uncomfortable because she couldn’t quite fathom or accept the idea that someone else could want her in the way he did.
I am young and feel as if I don't have a voice.
The things in my life I don't have a choice.
Others try to give encouragement and advice,
but how do I know the truths from lies?
I am drawing a line
incredibly thin
across my chest,
longer than my arms that quiver,
beneath all of it
beneath all of it
thin thinner
I become
thin thinner
my hair falls
Props and patterns,
It's all up to you.
How do you choose to feel today?
You see,
Lately, you haven't been giving yourself enough thanks;
Enough paint to finish your masterpiece.
Embrace the new beginning,
being a first generation college student is going to war with no training
It is exciting yet sad
We give our butterflies careful monikers
confusion
for example
but lets take these glittering beings
for what they truly are.
Fluttering infatuation
love
that can be
may be
Step by step I walk up to my deathAll the confidence that was planted in my brain just leftDidn’t even touch the mic and I’m starting to sweat
Everytime I see you I can't explain,
the fever boiling through my brain,
my palms get sweaty and my heart starts racing,
A day recedes, I'll chase down one more nightA lamed and hobbling Spring tries to outrun the tideof all the misspent monthsand all this wasted time
Too young to make life decisions. Too old to depend on mom. Wandering on the uncertained journey of life independently.
These eyes have wandered upon you, darting back and forth
hoping that you'd notice.
De TOk
So im nervous
Cant wait til my 4th period
Then again
What if
Its the way its always been
But what if
You get bold
And decide to give me a kiss
But i know
Flirting is a dance.
A delicate balance of movements and grace using body language and words.
A lie within a lie within a lie.
You know it's effecting you when you're hyper aware of your pulsing heart.
He may not know it but, she fell hard for him.
Harder than a naked body belly flopping against a freezing pool of water.
Like glass breaking against her skin.
She may not reliaze it, but he's drunk with love.
In all my 19 years,Through fears, cheers, and massive clears,I would have never imagined I'd be sitting here mirrored.
Butterflies
Fluttering in my stomach
or
Crocodiles
Gnawing at my innards
I don't know which
But it's somewhere in between
The room is dark.
There’s nothing surprising about the void. The silence in my head. Or the drumming in my heart.
Cold sweat dripping down your neck.
keep cool, after this you're next.
remember the purpose of why you're present,
you can only show your nerves to a cerain extent.
bright lights, people's eyes, and shaking bones,
It's almost here
As I count down the days, I can't help but feel scared
I leave my old life behind to pursue something new
Looking at the cap and gown hanging beside me
I can't help but feel like crying
I knew he was nervous.
He sat next to me, close enough to show interest but still left room between us for question.
I imagined his hands were sweating by now.
I felt him looking only at my eyes while they were distracted.
So here it goes as I start,
I take a breath and begin.
Words fall like sand,
Slipping through my lips.
The tumble like stones
And pile at my feet.
I keep going cause I feel I cannot stop.
I am water.
I wonder where the current will bring me, and
I hear the rumbling rapids approaching.
I see my course is uncertain, and
I want it to flow like music.
I am excited for the future.