Chronic illness

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Drowning in a crippling sensation of hell, hoping for the toll of the bell, for that means infinite rest… If only.   The stabbing pain on the side, desperately attempting to hide,
Alone with my thoughtsFeeling lost and trapped, right hereI’m falling apart My body betraysIn my small corner, I cryTears need to get out.
You are now a warriorAged, and a warrior. I didn’t want to be strongI became a warrior. All those dead toils and painI became a warrior. I am so proud of myselfFor I am a warrior.
I am a warriorShooting through the wallset up for meby my diseaseI will NOT give upI will NOT give infor I am a warrior.
I look in the mirrorand what I seeis a beat-up versionof the person that’s me  
I look in the mirrorand what I seeis a beat-up versionof the person that’s me  
I have always been a fan of alien movies.
The true tragedy is thatonly one of us ever has control over the vocal cords. ~
“You have to be strong.” Those were the words my mother said to me when I was most weak, When everything in my life seemed bleak.   As I was crying on the cold, hard ground,
The cursor tsks at me with every flash Impatient for the first mistake Sneering “I told you so” Before I have typed a single T   How can I encapsulate every fear, doubt, anxiety
  The worst part of chronic illness is the side effects Not the ones drawn out in thin black text across an orange bottle
I said goodbye to my old life I said goodbye to my mind I said goodbye to my body I said goodbye to a day without pain.  Chronic illness, a storyline in dramatic televsion  Something your grandparents have
I wonder whtat my blood sugar will do if I eat that yes, I can and will eat that. Sometimes I just want to be normal not having to deal with a millions things at once constantly changing, shifting, moving 
Trapped in a body that will not function The smallest tasks become a challenge No more running, dancing, or playing Standing up becomes your new form of exercise With every step you heart races
My hands are like knives And my flesh the meat   I carve my body Aching in defeat   Again and again Each slice is a blow   To the touch is a rush I still wish to not know
In the face of every single trial, The girl had smiled, for she was not afraid, And with each and every agonizing passing hour, Her smile grew larger and her eyes shone brighter;
  Fatigue and pain lure me to the bleached white hospital bed.All of my joints creak like a rusty swing set, I limp over, and throw myself on the bed.I stare at the clock,My mind says,It’s much too early to sleep.But my body disagrees.This feud ma
Definitions Yesterday I got out of bed Changed out of my pajamas and into fresh clothes Splashed water on my face and cleaned my teeth I laced up my own shoes, i crawled into the bathroom
Dear Doctor,   Since day 23 of the pain, my body has been new land. You have colonized me, in every way known to man,
It was Valentine’s Day of 2013 when I began wishing you would vanish into an endless black hole. I lied in a hard hospital bed, with wires protruding from every inch of my body. I cried in pain and in fear of  this unforgiving migraine. I know I w
My body is the aftermath of a silent war. Friendly fire has wrecked havoc on my insides As cell attacks, cell and my mind rebels against itself
My body is the aftermath of a silent war. Friendly fire has wrecked havoc on my insides As cell attacks, cell and my mind rebels against itself
I see you through the clear, curved, orange plastic over my eyes You taste like metal opium The spoon still stuck between my teeth Gnaw marks in the handle From when I tried to swallow it whole, swallow it dry
A Love Letter To My Baby I still remember you as a baby, how you wouldn't let no body hold you and how when you didn't want to talk to anybody, even if they knew you.
Ink-smudged hands betray me Proof that I'm still fighting  My thoughts can be rambunctious I don't quite know where I am
Tears fall steadily after the trauma If you came to grips with it, at least Those around you whisper things like "drama" Each of us faces a diff'rent beast  
Bitter tongued Weak handed Exhausted At the thought of waking up   It came down to this   Fragile heart Weighted mind Lonely soul
Oh rambunctious mind When will you unwind? You toss & you turn Like this body of mine   You pound in my head As if you're filled with dread
The music storms within me Strains I can't express I am a chained melody These chords left unpressed   My soul aches with feeble hands When that one song plays
It’s not glamorous.
As I waited in bed I watched the frustration Then the anticipation As the the old aging man walked in With white vanilla hair  And the baby blue attire 
Being diagnosed was tough Being unknown was worse. From here it can only get better, with the right tools and a little good luck. Optimism will be my guide. This will be with me forever
the first thing you should know is that I know you didn't plan for your life to be this way.  you were not a child who dreamt of life trapped in the four mint colored walls of a hospital room.
Alone Smell of antiseptic Machines beep, IV bags bubble Fluorescent lights give no comfort Plastic gloved hands do not understand Bottled up tears do not fall There is no one to see
Struggle It’s the only thing I’ve known For as long as I can remember The older I get the more control I gain This is my body
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