Psychosis
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i was looking out the window at a flock of pigeons in the factory district.patient a, a melancholic, was nodding off, kicking and crushing empty coca-cola cans that he had tied to his body.
They tell me not to worry,
They said. Oh! You’ll be fine.
They tell me it's just hormones,
But they don't feel me cross the line.
They don't hear my crazy thinking,
They don't see my sleepless nights.
Shuck-Lily cuts herself and, by God,
I'm back in love again,
This is not my responsibility,
So why am I tending to you like an animal?
The thoughts keep coming
If a certain song comes on I can still hear them singing or humming
If I close my eyes, I can sometimes see his face
They killed him and left a trace
Life became an impossible race
It started with pain in her bellyHer vision became blurryHer legs refused to listen to her mindThe pain, the physical painunbearableHer handsClumsybut not too clumsy to pour a drink
Not all mentors are positive
I’ve come to realize
In fact, mine is quite causative
Of things from which I agonize
He calls himself Pierre
And he hides inside my head
Sleep, that place where fantasies keep & time repeats merged between the seams of sheets where some nightmares creep at the beat of consciousness in deep. Sleep.
She escaped the world so full of hate and turmoil.
Her life a mess,
Her reality frightening and uncertain.
Becoming distant, hostile and detatched.
It's as if she were gone, as if she cracked.
From the darkened woodI walkto that hellish place where i once stoodI talkthe ghost of Chris pastis theremy futureHe mocksalcohol and dopewill bemy whips and stocks
Coughing up and regurgitating blood,
I hoped it was all but a dream.
The scintillating lights above me seemed to fade.
I was not alone; at my bedside stood a distinct, unfamilar shade.
They speak in broken English and they lie with silver tongues,
They swallow down old whiskey and they smoke away their lungs.
They cursed me for my difference, they hated words I sung.
Untamed self control my own worst enemy I can beI can not be the poison and the remedyThe voices I hear are not in my headI hear the words as if they’ve been said.Horrific thoughts I must endure
Your organ comes out and starts to play
“I think you’d rather be dead” They say.
But I think I’ll save that for another day.
I don’t know what to think
I’m so tired
“No sleeping.”
Sometimes I talk to myself.
Sometimes while I’m walking through my empty house,
I pretend that my house is full up people that love me
That would miss me
Does that make me crazy?
Psychotic (adjective); crazy, mental, reckless,
Out of control, violent, strange, scary-
You throw around the word psychotic as if it won't hurt
26 March 2014
Though my words have been scattered
and my lips been tainted,
take her heart and lift it.
Take her mind and relieve it.
Take away her pain, not her life.
Your mind is deteriorating right in front of my eyes
But the flesh still clings to your cheekbones
He comes at night
The glowing red eyes
To destroy me
From the
Inside.
I see him clearly
Walk down the street
See the invisible people
Walking by you, in stores and shops
All with illnesses discreet
Our world today just doesn’t see
These people with mental health problems
Seems lost, doesn’t it?
The decisions that led to this moment,
Cost it its own government,
I still covet it, when its well it’s a wonderful thing,
Sometimes, even in hell, this joy it can bring,
