' 'fear anxiety
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I often ask myself - "Why do I fear?"
Is it the fear to fall or is it the fear of not rising after the fall?
It is difficult to say what I fear more, but I fear both.
And in this fear,
I was on the stage
And I stood there frozen
I tried to open my mouth
But no words were spoken
I had to hold my neck
Cause I thought I was choking
You said it'd be nice if I'd stand with you, in front of those people.
You must know why I cannot do that.
You must.
Why do you even ask? I'll only dissapoint. Haven't you learned by now?
Sometimes I just want the deafening, can't breathe screamthat shatters the weight on my chest leaving me empty.
the one that burns my throatand provides a bed of tears for my comfort.
You have only known me while I grew up in a closet,
I feel like I’m alone, having no one to hold my hand,
No one to comfort me, or to tell me “I promise it’s going to get better!”,
Water fills my lungs like tree roots
Roots that have chained my soul for eternity
From the point of my first heartbreaking wail
I struggle to make a silent scream
As the water constricts my lungs with fear and pain
My closest acquaintance is the rain
as I listen to the soft trickles of barness
Coldness of the lungs but my breathless air is still warm
Clouding the unfocused skies
RAYAN
Limitations
My worlds sinking at the bottom of pain,
Filled with all the happy moments my life has had to sustain,
Broken souls and broken dream that I taught how to entertain.
TEARS That Can HEAL an OPEN WOUND
by Delasia Vanterpool
A boy who is very blue, sat by himself in school.
I look at you all but you don't know how I'm feeling Because your eyes ears and minds are asleep
I pass by you all with an expression not believing But your eyes ears and minds are still asleep
You made me feel frightened
An uneasy feeling
You made me feel paralyzed
I am frozen; I can’t move
This paranoid feeling of fear
Has me trapped
You made me feel panicky
You ask me to tell you when I realized I was growing up
Well that’s a complicated question
Cause I can say I was forced to grow up the moment my father decided to molest me from ages 5 to 13
Smiling away
Stuck in a cycle
Earning their pay
The same expressions recycled
A feel of dull colors
No escape from the future
A mirage of numbers
Where is the humor?
Tick tock, tick tick tock,
There goes the familiar rhythm of the clock,
As the notes align with the beats in my chest,
Vibrations surge through my fingers fighting to remain at rest.
I was alone,
I am the small voice that fades into the background,
I am the cowardly dog who puts down their head,
I am the thought that never gets to be expound,
Sudor and Anxiety
Things all too common in my life
There’s that deep pit in my stomach
Feeling as if it’s been twisted with a knife
June 1 2018Objective: Trial run of Axe Tiny CakesEngage with customers and promote the product"These axe-shaped mini desserts might be little,but they can make your day a lot more special!"
Wise hole, wise hole,
Leave.
The emptiness is tormenting me.
Wise hole, wise hole,
Leave.
I dont want you here.
Wise hole,wise hole,
Leave.
The thoughts are scaring me.
I do not have any fears
As they are are all too trivial to me.
Why cry in front of a bug?
Why scream in a small room?
As I think, it rushes in—
A river, a torrent, a waterfall
Threatening life or limb
Or peace.
Thoughts come swirling, pounding,
In my head
Never resting—unrelenting.
Voices rush, a flood,
When I was little I had a dragon
He didn’t have a name
Or maybe he did and I can’t remember
Because I would rather forget
He was always there
I was told I was too selfish
so I gave pieces of myself away
to people who didn’t give a damn
about the feelings I was trying to convey
I stuck with them through thick and thin
Why do you bother
Asking if I’m okay
When you don’t want to know
You don’t want to know if I am not okay
You want to know that I am
It begins as a thought.
Small yet calling for attention.
I ignore it.
Then an idea.
Ignorant yet from experience.
I ignore it.
Then an emotion.
Whimsical yet possible.
How many times has Fear limited me?
Too many to count.
But enough is enough,
Because Fear has been speaking for us too long.
What is real?
He stood trembling like a reed in the wind
It felt so real, too real, was it real?
It felt real
It looked real
It appeared real
What is real?
There is a voice inside my head
I do believe her, though I suspect she lies,
She is cruel, but the things she said
Held incredible weight.
I believed her when she said not to share
The creature inside her cage
So small
Suspended in the deep end
She flutters
Cage half glass half metal
Frozen
Her limbs are frozen
Sunlight
Cold sunlight
Sweaty palms and a racing pulse,
hands swipe against rough denim.
Emerald eyes skirt the crowd,
searching and scanning.
People. Strangers.
Fear strikes her,
a dagger through her heart.
I fear many things but I think that what I fear the most is myself.
My mind spits out everything that I have failed at and plays it like a movie over and over again.
