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I stopped smiling because I didn’t want my face to look anything but thin. I stopped laughing because he told me all I was, was annoying while he was in a place where he should never have been.
thin, pretty, fit in those jeans, look like the girls in the magazines a soft voice coarsely whispered.  she stank of insecurity and,
i am 11 years old it is a year of firsts; first sleepover, first boyfriend  
the mirrors voice is louder than mine I keep turning up the volume  I think my speaker is broken 
ANA She came to me on a rainy day Knocked on the oakwood door, a light wrapping I remember her lips moving, but all i could see was how pale they were
Food was always troublesome  I never had a favorite  My portions had to be smaller than theirs This body needed to be thinner   Food became a chore
I don’t take in food  But you don’t expect it from me  Not underweight or obese  You tell me I’m not fat  Deep down, I already know that  
Didn’t you know boy’s like skinny girls.  those with their jutted out boney hips. That only anorexia can fix.  Don’t you understand?  Those hips, these thighs.  This hurt, the lies. People say it’s all about your personality.  But I don’t believe
Lately I've been feeling like alphabet soup,Well, alphabet spaghettios because those taste better. Out of all the types of spaghettios, The ones with meatballs, franks, less sodium,I chose alphabet noodles. 
The value of my soul determined by numbers the circumfrence of my thighs the space between my eyes
I once knew a girl she was happy as could be  loved herself and knew her worth but then she grew up   I once knew a girl who thought she was so grown up she began to desire control
TW: ED   Pick it up. Put it back down.
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