absent dad

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Because you never learned how to love, I had to grow up believing you never loved me.  And maybe you did love me and had a terrible way of showing it.
I wonder if you wonder about me. I wonder if my name gets stuck in your throat or if your hands shake on my birthday.
In my eighteen years of livingI’ve been taught the most valuable lessonPoetry has a soulIt’s nowhere near as dark as coalIt guided me toward self acceptanceSomething my shell of a father never couldMaybe it’s because he left when I was twoThat he
Dear Jeffrey Mark Spencer   I thought I could forget you The empty parking lot at Irvings and missed phone calls long forgotten It even became a joke to us
  Somewhere in the World Rd. Emotions Point Gone, Outer space December 13, 2017 Dear dad,  I mean person,  I’m sorry… man?
Dad
Dear Dad,   You may not be here, but I know you’re watching. You may not be near, and I know you may be gawking. Every time I shed a tear,
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish If only the learning process was as simple as it used to be Then people would see what addiction took from me.
Sometimes I wonder why you left my precious life. See, I probably misunderstood ya love for this strife. I never meant for all this to crash
The third sunday in June is nothing more than a Sunday. I can’t celebrate a relationship that’s fiction.   If there was an anti-father’s day,
Practicing t-ball in the big field behind our old house , you pushed me hard,  you made it count. Dad what did i do ? I remember you helping me, no training wheels on pushing me along Dad what did I do ?
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