'humorous poetry'
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A Found poem by Beverly Stock / Illustration - Dennis Cox
There once lived a Man, a Cat, and a Dog,
And the man built a house with stone and log.
I tried to write something about nothing
But of course nothing came up.
I tried so hard but it was fruitless,
In my hollowness,
I tried to fill my mind with something
But then nothing came again
The dictionary has many words for love
But not what I’m accused of
I’m a mopperist, exposing myself
To blind people in the park
Or when it starts to get dark
I jingle my junk in their face
Why did I have to be named Yoshi
It’s the only Japanese name that Americans recognize
Named after some stupid Mario Brothers character
Yes, my name is Yoshi
I was not born in Japan
I was born in Connecticut
Caveman and dinosaur
Friends forevermore
Teach me how to hunt
Shelter me from the rain
We live together
Side by side
You will live forever
In this paradise
Through all the myths of the past
And on every last sheet
Not a single soul has scribed
That Zeus was an athlete
As powerful he was
A trickster that’s evil deeds never seemed to end,
Lucifer played his hand
In politics galore,
Radicalizing the youth,
Corruption among the keyboards,
He raised the stakes by
Bougies, cactus are grown by friends
Not just on grounds but also on fbs
Gumamelas and roses are equally showed off, too
Even veggies are gathered over here.
Passing a stone, can be oh so vile.
It hurts so much more than just having a pile.
And when it came out...
I gave a big shout...
Then my face, it became one big smile.
If I am,
what you think I am,
Surely I’m not I think I was,
But if I think I’m this,
And you think I’m that,
Which am I?
Now your probably thinking,
Shut up you twat,
Listen, my children, and you shall hearOf the midnight ride of 8 reindeer.In the month of December-- day 25A fat, old man gets in to drive.In a sleigh all filled with boats and toys
Encased in the shell.
Buried in the dark soil.
Oh heart be still.
For this nut which must be royal.
This movie’s getting old.
The copyright must be sold,
For what shall we do,
To make something almost new?
Whence of course you cannot find,
The words of which to describe,
An inexplicable and unpredictable,
Look! Look upon me!
Dare you not glance away?
For what was beautiful, now is ugly.
So is the world, as is today.
the boy sat on his desk
as Mother Nature spoke through the projector screen
”henry”
she cried
sounds of “henry” echoed in his head
but he could not reply
‘til professer hollered
Once upon a blessed morning I awoke to someone’s snoring Very loud and irritating Could it be this girl I’m datingOh, what’s her name; I can’t remember Met some time, back in September
I met Kim Yo-jong at the Winter Olympics Her figure was tight and her English terrificShe asked was I there for a little vacation I said I’m here representing my nation I took off my coat, so she could peep my colors
Don't Touch My Treasure
My spaghet, so precious and delicious,
The flavor that ignites me with hope and optimism
Just by thinking about it filled me with enlightenment
Dear I can’t even say your name,
You are temptation in its purest form: Raw, tart, bitter and salty. My mouth craves you, and your incomparable taste. But my insides loathe you, and the constant pain you bring me!
Dear me of the future...
I hope this finds you well, I'm unfamilair with poetry meter can't you tell?
I’ve tried to find jesus
but for me he’s not on every
piece of toast,
just some of the billboards.
you know the ones
A Dramatization of my Almost Death
I knew first impressions weren’t my best
The room was full; Strangers were everywhere
My heart was beating inside of my chest
Don't be touching on my pasta bowl
Hold up wait that's impossible
I downed that like 4 weeks ago
Out of food, but I ate real slow
Out of luck, but I got a week to go
Oh wait, I know just the thing
Standing in line,
Waiting to buy a cup of Love,
A bull, an elephant and a rhino collide,
Brah,brah,brah! Within stomach’s wall.
