I’ve tried to find jesus

but for me he’s not on every 

piece of toast, 

just some of the billboards.

you know the ones

those catchy and cheesy highway signs.

the ones that say

“You can’t enter Heaven until Jesus enters you”

and never grasp the irony.

a church is for me like a girlfriend is for a gay man

it isn’t.

but I’ll bet we both wish people would stop telling us

“you just haven’t found the right one yet”

I’ve told my worried mother

ill find him

under a seat someday

or something

as i’m looking for a remote that’s slipped 

far beneath the cushions

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