grieving
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For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,
But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.
I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,
A loss of life so young,
The words caught on my tounge.
A loss of a best friend,
Made me feel like it was the end.
She was only sixteen,
It still feels like a dream.
Memories of more than six years,
It was upon those rocky shores
On top of the craggy rock
Overlooking the tumultuous shore
Of water rushing onto the sand
And swiping at the blood there
heavy hope can be hard to carry,
and an obscure future, dark and scary.
here without you,
why'd you go?
didn't tie the knot, nor tie the bow.
before you left,
you kissed my nose
My play-doh set. My brown barrette.
My high top shoes. My young views.
My dirty shirts. My elbow hurts.
My parents yelling. My lips never telling.
I stand in a place that I've been once before,
A garden of sadness that's watered with tears,
A plot in the earth where I made an exchange:
I buried my hopes and gave birth to my fears
-
Today is the worst day.
I knew it would be.
My last goodbye to you
Was yesterday
And I look back
To see what I missed
A call, a text, a post
Should I have
Called you, texted, replied?
I cried today, and it's okay
In hindsight now, I can't fall prey
To doubt and fear, or dark dismay
Their dreary biddings to obey
*
I cried today, it's tough to say
Just why I cried, I can't convey:
Here she hobbled slowly
With pain in every step,
And there she’s dancing gracefully
But I hurt, because she left.
Here her hands were wrinkled,
Her hair thinning and white,
The opposite of love is time
For time heals all
Except the scars of love
Love lost, love unsure, love unrequited
Only love can survive the weathering of time
One day later and I still feel love
I thought about you then
I wanted to fight for you
I didn't want it to end
I thought about you then
I wondered how you were doing,
I meant to call,
to tell you that I missed you
The crimson petals of the past,
remind me of the colour of your lips,
the rain of your weeping.
Never did you listen,
when the angels warned you of my curse,
all I touched went toxic,
I'm not gonna lie it burns for me to say this
faster than our love apparently you thought we should quit
said you couldn't love me before you love yourself
As i watch you breathing
I look deep into your eyes
I try to read your face
For clues of any feeling
Pain or peace
I know your body is tired
It was in the clove of seasons,
the flowers were stained.
The grass around was wet,
from the night when it rained.
A tombstone now stands,
where the bleeding tree once stood.
The wind on her face
The slight retrace; of what once was.
The warmth of his cheek
The breeze of the air; forever there
I've lived long enough to know how it goes
That lovable feeling, keeping me on my toes
I've lived long enough to tell you how it ends
The infamous "we can still be friends"
But what I can't tell you is why
We walked aimlessly with direction
happening upon that one perfect moment.
To Rest.
Sizzled mimosa pours freshen
my mind’s thoughts of you
sweet sweet endangered—
First, you lost your mind
and I tried to help you
but you were already
gone.
Next, you lost your voice
there was nothing to do
but watch you.
When my Great Grandmother was near death in the hospital
I was curious to see what an old person's butt looks like,
so I kept standing on my tippie toes to catch a see
It doesn't seem like much,
but it's been a lot.
I've seen you a million moments,
but it doesn't seem so true.
Ijust wish for one more moment with you.
Amillion goes by so fast,
Falling horizontalnow parallel with the A.M., dew drop, grassshovel on the blanketsof hearty, wholesomeearth.
They say it gets easier with time
Pain and heartache
“Everything will be okay, just wait and see.”
But it’s been five years
And it’s only gotten harder
At least for me.
Dressed in black, a veil over her face,
a new flag over the coffin of her husband.
She was left alone with a bitter taste,
a flag, and a useless wedding band.
They had married, in love, with haste,
yellow was the color of innocence
the color of our freshman year
it was the shade of the v-neck you bought at forever 21, on our trip to the mall
yellow, the color of the cheesecake we shared for mary’s birthday
