There’s so much I do on your behalf.
I keep myself in check.
Keep myself down and lowly,
All so you don't have to. So you can be good.
So you can play the beauty taking pity on the wretch.
I’m disgusted on your behalf.
I have to see myself naked, so I’m disgusted,
I have to hear my thoughts on life, so I’m disgusted,
I’m disgusted by my attraction to you,
So you don't have to be.
So you don't have to see such
I am disgusted on your behalf.
Not because I care for you,
Not because I love you,
But because I know your disgust would hurt more.
Your rejection terrifies me,
And that terror disgusts me almost as much as
The love that I tell myself doesn't exist
That yearning and desire that I tell you
Could never exist.
I lie on your behalf.
Say you’re sick when you’re skipping class,
Say you’re in love when you’ve told me you have doubts,
Say I hate you when really I love you.
Hate is better. Hate is clean.
Hate is godly.
Hate is god.