Would you just stop talking already?

Today, I learned that stress can kill your cells.

I had my suspicions.

And, maybe that’s the reason I write.

Maybe, I write to forget about the essays and the research paper I have to write.

Maybe, I write to forget about the boy I haven’t asked out.

That damn cycle has been going on for two years now.

I wish my problems would disappear.

Sometimes even when you solve them, their after effects still linger and whisper “Boo”!

It’s a sickly smell of onions let out too long on the kitchen table, protruding your nose.

But, I did it for myself, it was for the best, or so I tell myself.

Is it bad that I sit in class daydreaming about crying in my room?

I would just love to let that emotion out.

What am I crying about, you ask.

I’m crying because I’m growing up to fast and this adult thing, it’s getting too real.

I’m crying because I’m finally realizing that I really love my family.

And, I thought I could, but I can’t.

I just can’t move three hours away from this rundown railroad of a town.

See, this is what’s it’s like for a sensitive person like me.

Does that sound narcissistic?

Sorry, I just had to say it.

I can’t just let these thoughts pollute my mind all night long.

Sometimes, I just wish my mental state would be wrong, so I would get attention or some guidance for God’s sake.

The world doesn’t stop though, and way too soon they’re telling me to figure out my life.

They’re bribing me with their free 19 grand and their black ceremonial ring.

That’s nice and all.

 

But, what if I can’t afford (in monetary and personal value) to fall down that path?

Does cutting corners make me sound lazy and careless?

Did I really work my butt off aceing classes like AP American History for nothing?

Did I really stay up at 2 am writing those unfinished LEQs for nothing?

Will I really throw that overdone resume out the window?

Yes, no, I don’t know.

It’s yes today and definitely no tomorrow.

Now, will you just cut me some slack, buy me some time, and would you just stop talking already?