Who I am


I used to look in a mirror and see nothing more than a pale, meaningless skeleton

Encompassed by pasty, white flesh with scars that seemed to never fade away no matter how much they healed,

they were always going to stick onto my body like leeches thirsty for blood

This is not the way I wanted to live,

always rampaging through the beauty magazines with the skinny perfect girl plastered on the cover

hoping that one day I would be as picture perfect as the barbie dolls I used to play with when I was 5

my brain taken apart and reconstructed 

ideas placed in my head that pretty was only ever  a word used to describe a person's external features

but something told me, you will never be that model on the cover of the the new vogue issue

but only because that girl was photoshopped

electronically critiqued to fit the image of what perfection was to society 

i was more than some victoria secret model dressed to perfection to walk down a runway

i may not be under one hundred pounds

but last time I checked

the number on the scale does not define who I am

and if one day

someone ever tries to simplify me down to pretty 

i will tell them no

I am way more than a word that only consists of one syllable

I am beautifully genetically created from one tiny cell

strength and courage run through my blood

up through my veins

I will never look for someone's approval of who i need to be

as long as i am still converting carbon dioxide into oxygen

I am me and that is all I will ever be and that is satisfying enough

I will express myself as I please as long as I am not harming others 

and dont you dare tell me I am ugly or try to convince me that I am not good enough

because me will always be good enough

better than enough

i may be 5 feet tall but let me tell you

I am powerful

there is no words you can ever say that will change how I see myself

when I look in a mirror

I take a long glance and visual what would be inside of me 

 and I see purpose 

potential that can't and will never be stopped

I may be one human being

but i am unique 

and no one will ever be me

my soul fittted and contoured just perfectly

to fit my body 

the only physical body my soul will ever encompass


i am filled to the brim with self confidence 

it may have tooken years for me to realize this

but every single flaw

every single little detail i was ever constructed of makes up who i am

and finally

i can say i would never change who I am 

a girl filled with crazy theories and thoughts 

each new day a blank canvas working towards being a better person 

i love myself




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