When I Am Able
When I am able,
I speak my mind.
But mostly,
I am silent.
Their Judgment will be final
so I stay away.
Only to find thier eyes
back on me.
I try to be noticed
in positive ways,
but they all look away.
Then, suddenly,
they see me.
They really see me.
But, it's not what I wanted them to see.
Now, they see a girl,
a girl with acne on her face,
and greasy hair in place.
That's not what I wanted them to see.
I want them to see me.
To want to get to know me, like I want to know them.
The boy I sit by is lonely,
and I try and force a heartfelt smile,
but he only looks away.
When I am able,
I listen.
I listen to every single one of them.
I hear their hopes and dreams,
their nightmares.
I hear what they like to do,
what they want.
But, when I am able
to speak my mind towards them.
They laugh.
But, strangley. I do not cry.
No, I do not cry.
I am angry.
I am more angry than I am sad.
I feel misunderstood.
I feel what every other person in every room can feel.
I feel drowned out in a pool of normalcy.
A pool of untapped potential,
that keeps us all
trapped.