What Does It Feel Like?
What does it feel like to be dead?
Is it cold? Slimy? Painful?
What does it feel like to exist?
Do you get to look down on the world you once belonged to and laugh? You no longer have to be a part of that wretched little planet where all you did was provide a source of warm flesh, open for the slaughter. You no longer have to depend on people. People who build you up, only to tear you back down. And the laughter, god the laughter. Being free of such a cruel sound for the rest of eternity. An eternity where you can say goodbye to all the fake smiles. God knows you've perfected one by now.
You can forget all the things you've said, all the people you've hurt, all the hearts you've shattered.
Including your own.
You can close it all off and retreat to the silence; dark, delicious, overwhelming. A slience that whispers all of your problems away, replacing them with the love you destroyed.
Reciting the three words you would kill for Him to say again: Yours for eternity. Yours for eternity. Yours for eternity.
Fading away into nothing. But hey, on earth, you were already nothing. Not this time. This time it's beautiful.
You get to enjoy all of these things when you leave this world and descend into that endless sky. I wish I was you. But obviously, I am not, and I will never know what it feels like.
Because I am surely going to hell.