What Am I So Afraid Of?

My family not being proud of me

My friend loosing her life over a cheater

Moving to Texas to leave everything behind

To be depressed, weak, and unatural

Not seeing my father again 

My mom's revolver mirroring my tired eyes

 

Why is fear like this for me

Not knowing something is so hard to handle

What happens in that time frame is the worst experience of all

Only after it happens I say say "what if" or "I made a mistake"

A movie replay in my mind, was there any way to fix it?

 

If I told my dad his wife was no good, would he still be here?

Maybe if I told my mom not to pick up her friends would she be okay?

I should have worked harder to keep her close, look at her now

Shes going to leave me because I wasn't good enough, what if I was better?

If I had gotten 40 minutes earlier would my dog be laying next to me?

 

Writing down problems makes me believe if I work hard there will be a solution 

Life is worth living all of its wonders, right?

Living seems so hard now adays to find them

What day will tomorrow bring? Why do I ask myself that?

What am I so afraid of?

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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