The Teddy Bear
Location
On Valentine’s Day you gave me a teddy bear
In return I gave you my heart
You said “Take good care of him he’s my favorite”
I said “Here, no strings attached”
You proceeded to put my heart on a leash like a pet
And I put that teddy bear on my bed like an altar
As my heart reveled in consensual captivity and fiercely sought your affection
I lay each night next to the teddy bear as it sat like a sentry watching over me
Each day I would awake to find him still sitting by my side
It was nice being in such a faithful relationship… and being with you
The teddy bear’s ceaseless gaze and sewed on smile reassured me
Sure some days I sought your love like water in the desert
Sure there were a few instances I crawled marathons through broken glass
And sure maybe I looked like a ballerina constantly walking on your eggshells
But I still had the teddy bear
At least some proof that there was some reciprocation of my infatuation
But when you shattered my little bubble of denial and bliss
Crawled into bed with him and straddled his hips
Putting lips once reserved for me upon his lips
Your teddy bear turned into a monster
His ceaseless gaze boring into my soul
Just in case I dared to think of anything other than your face
Like the raven he taunted me
Nevermore could I even tie my shoes
Without somehow remembering how we used to tie knots with our fingers
Your teddy bear’s gaze reminding me
That while you’re sailing off to infinity and beyond with him
So is my self esteem
This monster
I flung it from my bed like a colony of ravenous bed bugs
And in its place resentment grew like a weed
Its roots wrapping around my lungs
Just like I’d wrap my arms around your waist
Constricting every time you dropped his name
Wore his shirts
Even entered the same room
Squeezing and squeezing like a boa constrictor
I was learning to live with asthma
Yet I could never find my inhaler
I stared into the bear’s eyes
Nevermore I declared
Would I be wooed by seemingly sweet, innocent princesses
Nevermore would I entertain the notion of allowing one, two… or three passing glances
Nevermore would I charge in like a valiant knight
Only to be turned into a faithful steed
I am Superman I said
I am invincible
I looked into the bear’s eyes and I decided
Nevermore would I be afraid of this teddy bear
Today the teddy bear sits on my bed once again
With his perpetual gaze he watches over my heart
And keeps it safe