A Super Long Poem Featuring My Monday Morning
I’m sound asleep
My fleece blankets swallowing me in their cuddly softness
All of a sudden my alarm clock shrills to life
Screaming annoyingly in my ears
A cold, icy dread engulfs my heart
I have to get up and get ready for school
Oh yeah and it’s a Monday
It’s also 4:41 in the morning
I need to get in the shower
But I don’t wanna!
I’ll just shut my eyes for a few more seconds…
Don’t want to be tired and groggy at school today
Alright I guess I’ll get up now
I reach to turn on my light when I notice the time
It reads 5:31 a.m.
I stare at my clock, my heart pounding
How could that be?
Did I read it right?
5:31 a.m.
WAIT!
I need to move!
But now I won’t have time to shower!
I’ll be all dirty and gross at school today
Sigh
I did all my homework, right?
Washed my gym clothes, took out some lunch money…
I pull on a t-shirt and jeans
And brush my teeth and do my hair and all that
Then I walk downstairs to eat breakfast
God, there’s nothing to eat
Even though my pantry is full of food
I look in the fridge—YES!
Looks like I’m heating up a leftover baked potato for breakfast
I need some coffee
Don’t want to be sleepy and boring at school
I down a half-cup of coffee and look at the clock
6:10!
Omigod I have to go outside soon!!
In, like, 10 minutes…
I nervously pace around the family room
Taking deep breaths
Trying to prepare myself for what I’m about to face
I probably look like an idiot
Don’t want to be an Ameri-can idi-ot!!!
Ah, I love that song
Dang it! My i-pod!
Did I charge it?
Yes, it’s good, and now it’s time to get ready
I bundle myself up in everything I have
Because it’s pitch black and below zero outside
My mom kisses me goodbye
"Have a great day," she says
A great day
I snort to myself
“Bye Bogie, I will see you in seven and a half hours,” I solemnly promise my dog
He just looks up at me then goes back to sleep
Why can’t I be a dog?
WHY GOD? WHY!!?
Shut up! I yell to myself (in my head of course)
Focus—I’m going to have an ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS day!!
I open the garage and walk to the bus stop
Like a guilty man walking up to the stand to give his testimony
Then I realize that I am the only one here
Hopefully no one mugs me
Or tries to rape me
Pretty soon people start showing up
Which means the two girls I stand by
But the talkative girl isn’t here today
So it’s just me and that other girI
I see her come and stand in her spot
I sniffle, kick some snow around
It’s soo quiet and awkward
I pick at my nails
Is that girl on her phone or
Should I be talking to her?
But I don’t have anything to say
And no one else seems to be talking much
I’ll just stand here and kick some snow
Do I look uncomfortable?
Why can’t the frikin bus just show up already?!
The awkwardness is stabbing me like a million knifes!!
Finally the bus rolls by
My heart starts beating fast again
What if I can’t find a seat today?
The bus is always so full and the people are always so unpredictable with where they sit!
What if I have to sit by those boys?
Or worse, what if I have to sit next to them?
Oh please God don’t let that happen!
I’m freaking out right now
Today’s not going to go down well
I walk down the aisle of the bus and
Try to make out people in the pitch blackness
Because the bus driver obviously doesn’t have the actual energy to
Turn on the lights for a second!
I see a sophomore girl sitting by herself
But wait, that’s where that one girl usually sits, right?
I look around again, desperately
Why can’t there be enough room for me to sit with the freshman girls I actually know?
I need to flipping find a seat
The bus is about to move
I miraculously find another seat with one girl who looks non-threatening
“Can I sit with you?”
I sit down graciously, making sure only to take up my half of the seat
But what if those boys over there turn around and say something to me?
I keep my head down and try going to sleep on my backpack
Hoping I don’t look weird or anything
Everyone around me is poking on there I-phones
And I’m just sitting here like a loser
This is so not fun
Half an hour later, we arrive at school
We are super early so we are basically just sitting here
Waiting for other buses to come
It is so quiet
All of a sudden, the boys nearby blast a song on their phone
I feel myself about to hoot out loud with laughter
But I can’t draw attention to myself
I try to stop but I can’t
I think I’m the only one laughing at them
Then it’s time to get off the bus and everyone stands up
Including me, but I have a heavy load of a backpack
I almost take out the girl I sat next to as I try and swing it over my shoulder
I’m off the bus
Walking fast in the brisk winter cold towards the school doors
Wondering if people are looking at me walk
Am I walking too fast?
I find my friend and try to sound
As if my morning was absolutely perfect
“Hi!”
That didn’t sound energized enough
I sound like a dying cow
She says hey back and now we are still walking
Think of something else to say, moron!
she's like one of your only friends!
My mind just can’t shut up
“Ugh, I hate Mondays”
Well isn't that true!
I’m going to walk inside school
Have to see more people
Going to have to converse with them all
Wait—who says “converse”?
It’s only the morning
And the coffee is not making me more fun and energized
But at least in seven and a half hours
I’ll be back in the comfort of my house
With my dog and my fleece blankets
Seven and a half more hours…
That’s like twenty seven thousand more seconds I have to endure this misery!!!