Sleepy Blessings


Never have two words uttered hurt me more
Than when I heard them say, "bless you"
Words that held me more than I deserved
Whispering in my ear with spurn and commune

When I was raised I came face to face
With another whose life was balled and chained
To bright eyeliner, dark stockings, and lace lingerie
And when I saw what was lost, I lost what was gained

As a youth I ate captain crunch and played tunes
In the mornings and in the evenings on TV
I would eat fruit loops and see you on the news
As you held my family hostage while smiling

Still you uttered to me many blessings
Still you would hold onto me and start to sing
As my mother did my dirty laundry
And I snuck into her purse for money

When I knew she was fighting everyday
To provide for my brother and me
But you dwelled within my ways
So it didn't matter if we had electricity

And I held all of that power
When I had once begun to scour
For freedom of several hours
That came from drugs and wet towels

Wet towels from sex with a girl unnamed
The same girl who was held by ball and chain
To bright eyeliner, dark stockings, and lace lingerie
And when I saw what she lost, I lost what was gained

So I started searching for a new free
It wasn't in my drugs or mamas money
It wasn't in that girls love or on the TV
So I searched for the clarity in me

Trying to recall the truth, behind "bless you"
Why would you bless this sinful youth
I suppose at some point I was expected to
Rise up above you in order to bless you too

In this new found reality
I saw where the angels weep
I found your book flowing
On the love inside of me

It contained your initials of B.B.
It gained my tears that would bleed
Through each and every sheet
Of your words and your beauty

Your thoughts and your dreams
Were simply hiding and hoping,
Waiting on me

To spread my wings and be free

To remember the beauty in the fruit loops, the drugs, and the laundry

To remember the beauty in the girls eyeliner and in the electricity

Because this is where poetry sleeps.


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