A smile on my face pretending nothing is wrong, being scared, nervous, and sad it was unbearable and it happened  that strong. I tried to be there for my friend to make sure nothing happened to her, but instead it happened to me. As I sit there saying no I'm not doing anything. I'm in a dark room with the monster forcing himself on me, clueless to what was happening my mouth was still saying no. Trying to move having no control, the monsters hip bone was hitting my side, So, with that mean look the monster grabs my hands. Nevertheless after stating get off me being froze in time the monster quit. Being home I thought my life stopped going to school crying and confused I was ready to pop, I finally come to the realization I...was RAPED. Dealing with what's next everything happened at once. As my depression rises I want to scream rape, I'm scared to leave my front gate. Even though I'm tired of crying I just want to sit in a dark room with my TV and music sighing. To walk the halls at school I tend to panic I cry so much a ship can sink like the Titanic. Wondering what others think of me, I'm afraid the monster will be there to see. I want people to hear my thoughts but all I do is cry. Even though I'm sad I want to be heard but all I do is ask 'why?' I cant control my feelings and I want to get out. I cant control what he did but all I want to do is SCREAM RAPE.