scared of happy

Human minds are silly little models

The birth children of originality

And the forcibly adopted stepchildren of


Cousins of melancholy

And temporary neighbors of contentment


Because they’re always moving.

Not travelling, for the mold holds its place,

Just moving.

No freedom to wander without

The expected surprise of a boundary.


And in these helpless dark times,

I cry tears that trickle onto piano keys,

Forcing the purge of bittersweet notes

Yet nothing truly heals like understanding

With which broke me in the beginning

Of consciousness


To understand that we are not alone in how we feel

Runs complex when we aspire to be original

But true feelings can ring in commonality with others

Yet still eject self


Finding ourselves in others is wonderful beauty

To wipe others’ tears in turn dries ours

And act in external service rather than solely in self interest


Society does not teach us to do

In the midst of gender sexualization, monetary gain > life,

Skinny or sexily thick, but no beauty in between! Society screams

These at us as punishment, not discipline,

For we are its stepchildren and one cannot truly disregard


But one can regard those trapped in the same mold

For freedom comes with knowledge

And the genuine home of companionship


Through helping others, i found myself

In the midst of step brothers and step sisters

I would have never connected with


No more coveting happiness

While being scared of it

Thus far into life, it’s time to breathe

In company


And thrive.


So let these waterfalls of pain continue to drench me

For i know i won’t drown

When empathy and love for others

Holds me heavy


And let the fall leaves of melancholy crunch above me

For they will soon fall and fade

But will never lose worth and beauty

For we will all soon fall and fade

But will never lose our worth and beauty.


And we will continue to smile until infinity

and the end of existence



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