Rewind Time
He approached, staring with eyes very bright,
just kindly looking at me in that way,
making my heart skip a beat with delight,
listening closely to all that I say,
caring more than I could have ever thought,
believing my feelings were really true,
his personality just got me caught,
never imagining, I had no clue,
of all the great emotions passing by,
and all those memories i left behind,
it gives me that feeling to stop and cry,
to take a moment and try to rewind,
go back to those amazing days and smile,
something i have not done in a long while.
Comments
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Your poem is very personal, which makes me (and, I believe, anyone else who reads it) feel your emotions. This is particularly a strong writing technique for love poems since nearly everyone has been in a similar situation once before. My only advice to you is to remain consistent with your thoughts. As a reader, I was thrown for a loop when you went from talking about yourself in line 6, then about him in line 7, and then back to yourself in line 8. I think these 3 lines will flow much more smoothly if you first introduce his personality as seductive and then continue with line 7 and so on.