Rewind Time

He approached, staring with eyes very bright,
just kindly looking at me in that way,
making my heart skip a beat with delight,
listening closely to all that I say,
caring more than I could have ever thought,
believing my feelings were really true,
his personality just got me caught,
never imagining, I had no clue,
of all the great emotions passing by,
and all those memories i left behind,
it gives me that feeling to stop and cry,
to take a moment and try to rewind,
go back to those amazing days and smile,
something i have not done in a long while.

Comments

thisispoetryproject

Your poem is very personal, which makes me (and, I believe, anyone else who reads it) feel your emotions. This is particularly a strong writing technique for love poems since nearly everyone has been in a similar situation once before. My only advice to you is to remain consistent with your thoughts. As a reader, I was thrown for a loop when you went from talking about yourself in line 6, then about him in line 7, and then back to yourself in line 8. I think these 3 lines will flow much more smoothly if you first introduce his personality as seductive and then continue with line 7 and so on.

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741