Putting on a fake smile

To keep the questions away

To keep the pain away

To keep the memories away

Trying to be so strong

Trying to be okay

But after years of being

“Strong”

Years of crying

Years of cutting

Years of faking something you’re not

That fake smile is hard to fake now

You can’t tell when you’re actually laughing

Or smiling

Can’t even tell when you’re happy

Pain hits you like bullets that

Seem to never come out

So ask if I’m okay again