Nothing Hurts

Location

95685
United States
38° 25' 59.8368" N, 120° 46' 51.4848" W

When I Sleep, before I wake
I'm in the car, I can't escape.
Driving fast, windows down
No one can help me, no one's around.
It's much too silent, there are no words,
And when I look over, everything is a blur.
He's driving too fast, I scream to slow down,
But nothing comes out of my mouth, not one single sound.
I can hear him now, yelling so loud
Then I see the wall, standing tall and proud.
I scream to stop, there is no sound
And then we hit, I'm on the ground
I can feel him smiling, he's done his work.
But now I'm gone; nothing hurts.

Comments

RebeccaYSPerez

The most looming aspect of this poem, I think, is that the beginning line "When I sleep, before I wake" sounds so similar to a prayer that I know of that children say right before bed. That made the poem seem very slow moving and scary all at once. I adore your ability to rhyme and have it flow so easily without sounding like you've given up what you want to say for the sake of it.

Thank you for sharing this,
Rebecca

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741