i need to put this out there
because you forced me to swallow myself
until i regurgitated someone new.
stalwart, in a modern sense.
i was the victim of my own fears
for far too long.
i longed for reality
when i should have cherished the magic of my brain
letting me forget.
i really must love myself
if my own organs went through such pains to erase you
and recreate you in a much less horrible fashion
but horrible still.
and i stood in a courtroom
and gritted my teeth against the base of the phone.
your voice was the only thing indicative of your existence.
you didn’t come, just called in from
wherever you’re living down south.
and my fear turned red hot
from the friction of the tremors that ran rampant through me
and i took it
and twisted it
and made it into my new weapon of choice.
goodbye, concrete and walls of stone.
you may leave, razor wire. take the minefeilds with you.
i took that fear
and wielded it like the goddamn sword of michael
and ran you through before the eyes of the judge
the court officer
and the secretary.
and the tears fell, but they were boiling.
the tremors originating from my core
shook the foundations of every building
in a twenty mile radius.
my heart beat took on the sound of twelve jet engines
and shattered the eardrums of roughly three thousand creatures.
but when i took that fucking stance,
i took it all and bundled it into ore for that damned sword
and cut all the logic out of your case.
i whittled it down to tinder, and,
where you didn’t do it yourself,
reduced your values to ash at my crying mother’s feet.
by the end of the hearing,
every single person in that room knew you’re crazy.
you contested the restraining order
and the trial date was set.
and i knew for sure i have to see your face.
but now the new me knows it’s okay
because i have my sword buried deeply,
deeply inside my heart
at all times.
so thank you
for telling me.
the warranty ran out
there was no more patching things,
and i am glad that i bought new.
it is really the best thing you’ve ever done
for me, or anyone else