thank you.

no, seriously

i need to put this out there

because you forced me to swallow myself

whole

and digest

until i regurgitated someone new.

someone courageous.

strong.

stalwart, in a modern sense.

a not-

victim.

i was the victim of my own fears

for far too long.

i longed for reality

when i should have cherished the magic of my brain

letting me forget.

i really must love myself

if my own organs went through such pains to erase you

and recreate you in a much less horrible fashion

less

but horrible still.

and i stood in a courtroom

and gritted my teeth against the base of the phone.

your voice was the only thing indicative of your existence.

you didn’t come, just called in from

wherever you’re living down south.

and my fear turned red hot

from the friction of the tremors that ran rampant through me

and i took it

and twisted it

and made it into my new weapon of choice.

goodbye, concrete and walls of stone.

you may leave, razor wire. take the minefeilds with you.

i took that fear

and wielded it like the goddamn sword of michael

and ran you through before the eyes of the judge

the court officer

and the secretary.

and the tears fell, but they were boiling.

the tremors originating from my core

shook the foundations of every building

in a twenty mile radius.

my heart beat took on the sound of twelve jet engines

and shattered the eardrums of roughly three thousand creatures.

but when i took that fucking stance,

i took it all and bundled it into ore for that damned sword

and cut all the logic out of your case.

i whittled it down to tinder, and,

where you didn’t do it yourself,

reduced your values to ash at my crying mother’s feet.

by the end of the hearing,

every single person in that room knew you’re crazy.

you contested the restraining order

and the trial date was set.

and i knew for sure i have to see your face.

but now the new me knows it’s okay

because i have my sword buried deeply,

deeply inside my heart

at all times.

so thank you

for telling me.

the warranty ran out

there was no more patching things,

and i am glad that i bought new.

it is really the best thing you’ve ever done

for me, or anyone else

except for

of course

leaving.