My Ugly Beauty
I am not seen as being entirely female.
If asked on a survey
The number one problem with me
That my friends wish to address
Is my appearance.
They want to reinvent me
Through new shoes,
New clothes,
New jewelry,
A new face.
Because to them
If you are,
And identify to be
A female,
You must look like one.
So I stand in my boots
That are falling apart
On my feet
In my jeans
That make me look shapeless
My T-shirt that hangs off my shoulders awkwardly
Making me look homeless
My hoodie
Is slightly too big
And make me look boxy
My bare face
Announcing to the world
“I got two hours of sleep last night!”
And the hat on my head
Is my way of saying
“I really did not want to wash my hair”
And they ask that I change.
I know they mean well
But they do not realize
How much that request hurts.
I rarely wear dresses
Because the breeze,
Makes me uncomfortable
I like make-up
But when I’m tired
It’s heavy
And it makes me want to destroy
CoverGirl Headquarters
And heels
Terrify me
I know how to dress up
And when I do
People listen to me
Because they can see
My power and confidence.
But for now,
I almost literally woke up like this.
I rolled out of bed
And put on my favorite boots
That makes my walk to class,
Less dreadful
I put on my favorite jeans
That let me sit
However I want
I put on my favorite T-shirt
The one that says,
“My sense of style,
Has not changed,
Since the sixth grade”
My favorite hoodie
That gives me a warm hug
Everytime I feel so stressed
That I can’t breathe
And my favorite beanie
So that when my mind starts to wander
My thoughts do not drift out into space
But stay with me
And fall out onto the page
Where my imagination comes to life
Telling my story through metaphor and allusion
Making me the master of my world.
And my face does not have an inch of makeup
Because my curious eyes are so big
They don’t need eyeliner to be seen
Because my chapstick
Lets my ideas pass my lips
Without getting stuck in sticky gloss
Because my dark circles
Are my way of letting you know
That I can conquer the world
Even when I’m so tired
I can’t remember which way is up
You may think that
I am lazy
Because I put no effort
Into my appearance
But I am too busy
Exploring the mysteries of the world
To be bothered with my own face
When given the option of
Ten more minutes of sleep
Or “looking cute”
I chose sleep
Because my bed is soft
And in my dream
Women who are not
“Flawless”
Are beautiful too