I grew up hearing

All that I’ve missed-

‘Cause I still hadn't had
My very first kiss.

So I came up with a plan-

From the fairy tales I’ve read.

 

I headed out to a pond

Where I could find a man.

I saw him in the grass,

Looking nice and dark and wet.

I had found my target,

Now to do the act.

I bent down and kissed him-

It wasn’t much to note.

 

Once we were done,

I soon realized that-

No prince would come from,

That silly old toad.

 

Then my first kiss

Pissed on my hand.

So just be warned,

Fairy Tales aren’t true.

Toads can’t turn into

Your one true love.

 

But if you give it a shot,

Don’t kiss a toad.

Be sure to follow the story-

And kiss a frog on the nose.