My legs, My legs,

O' they are much better than pegs. 

Through lush green fields I dance and I prance,

O' how my greatest treasure lies under my pants!

My calves are smooth and supple,

Looking at them I see a nice couple.

My knees I find amazing and swell,

If you disagree you can go straight to hell.

My thighs are big, but they do not blunder. 

I do not care if they are like thunder!

It's nice and round it is my butt,

Please excuse me I'm not a slut.

I know you're all about that bass,

Eyes up here please, this is my face.

My abs are as hard as a rock,

If you think I'm lying then give them a sock!

My arms are freckled and long, 

If you think they are ugly then you are wrong.

My hair is short and brown, 

Styled up I only see girls smile, never frown.

My skin may be the color of Spam,

But I know I am perfect just the way I am!

Even though I have a stutter,

Reading this poem is bread and butter!

My poem skills are that of a novice,

I am not a cat I am quite pawless.

I do not care what you have to say because I am FLAWLESS!