Mistaken for X

My life is a book of knots.
feel free to
read through them and watch me rot
I tried to die but I got caught 
I loved more, so much I thought
he’d never pry his fingers from my hot
and dripping mouth
it seems
im in a feeling drought.
the darkness revolts again,
and this time ill let it
eat me!
like he did
I cannot feel a beat
but he is full.
he stands hunched
raw meat oozing from his eyes, ears, mouth, nose
he is in the dark with striped light licking his innocent lying skin
Im stripped. on the opposite end of the hall
naked and dragging my feet
my steps shuffle out of time, rhythmic anomaly
haven’t showered in days and my half shaven head is ripe with grease
I am hungry for release
and angered by this man
in front of me
dragging turns to falling slowly and shifts
crawling now
faster and faster and faster he is not moving and he is not seeing never feeling
my screech piercing the caustic breathable 
wavered pitches ravage the grey and tainted brain
let him hear my pain
I am close now,
two arid eyes,
close enough to smell the stench of you, my lover
oh my sweet, hold me close!
but he won’t
or lust my shell
I fall to his feet and latch leech like to his leg
I hold him then
and am quietly stirred
flooded by blissful remembering
I swim in avenoir
its backwards, abysmal in nature
matter extended from his orifice lands cold on my neck
I let go. 
he is still.
I touch the ground and it glows blue
it knows my inner hue
I crawl content, bright eyed and backwards
looking around on my hands 
I wipe the meat from my body
I walk
I am cold and I shiver
turning to see him again at the end 
of the hallway
and I notice his chest fissure
(he hurts too)
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