lotus, i, i, lotus

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 23:53 -- sunbare

i have overcome mountains and i have overcome molehills

i have ran through life at fast forwards and i have paused at stand stills

i have lived through sixteen years just to try and die twice

and i have taken the time to decide that i want to end my life

a survivor i am of hospital rooms

and a survivor i stand of sexual abuse

i now hold a mirror of love where i once held the hatred of a knife
and grown i have to choose that i want to live this life

and I still have scars on my legs from two thousand twelve

and I've come from a night of hatred to now simply love myself

i have cut of the friendly and i have cut off the lovers

but now im open to all who love me and any others

i'm done treating my skin like a wooden table to be ingrained

my thighs my arms my stomach my face i love all the same

"I hate everything" and "I hate everyone" haven't been spoken from my lips in years

and imagining myself saying that on a daily basis once again is one of my greatest fears

Because now I love everyone and I love everything

But without my troubles theres so much beauty I wouldn’t have seen

In others, in life, in the day and the night, and in myself

In myself.

i’ve climbed from the bottom of the well and im almost to the top

and i have come from taking pills to telling myself that i rock

there is no lotus if there is no mud

there is no beauty if there is nothing to overcome

and after all that i have been through i hope you take notice

that i have grown from the mud and i am a lotus

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