A Letter to Those Who Don't Know Me

You probably don't know me, but my friend made you add me on snapchat. I watch the haze of your days through your camera lens and die trying to find a way to tell you to see that we could be us together, the same souls in different bodies finding friendship in that, yet here I sit staring at your name on a screen that I know won't show the things we share, the things I want to share with you.

You probably wouldn't recognize me, but we were best friends in second grade. This was before sleepovers and birthdays and before really any chance was there for us to share our lives with each other and at that time you were taken to another state and I was left bereft, alone with no one by my side. The warning was given to me, only me, and the bewildered teacher gave me the art you left behind to remind me of a simpler friendship before anxiety drowned the old me.

You probably don't notice me, but I see you at rehearsal, with your friends, being all happy. You are beautiful. That talent you have blows me away and day after day I say to myself that I'll never stand where you are no matter how hard I work and it hurts, sitting in the shower screaming shit silently in my mind about how I'll never be you.

You probably think you know me, but things have changed these past few years.The stories sworn to make me melt hardly move me a miniscule amount, other than to annoyance and resignation. Things are different. I fear fear itself and can't eat and have killed the myself that you used to believe and trust in. Trust no one. In God you trust.

You probably don't see me, but I see you in all the halls of life, through my strife you guide me with your light and all I was is for you to see me the way I say I see you. You are bright, and fight for the right in your life.

You probably don't think of me, but if you do, please try to see me.

This poem is about: 
My community
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