Lasting Effects


When I was in first grade I got straight A’s, my parent’s were ecstatic.

The next year I got all A’s and a B, but they were still proud.

So on and so forth I still did well, but mom and dad got less excited every time.

I set the bar too high too fast no matter what I did I couldn’t impress them anymore.

The best became routine and anything less was a disappointment.


In fifth grade I went to a new school and to my shock everyone thought I was a loser.

I spend middle school being teased and ostracized because of my awkward gait, my good grades, or the crazy shit that flies around in my head,

In eighth grade I ate lunch alone because my best friend couldn’t take being in the same class as his tormenters.

Sometimes only being spoken to when someone wanted help or more accurately wanted me to hand them the answers.

I have seen smart, sensitive, and artistic kids reduced to tears from the slings and arrows of their so-called “peers”.


In high school I escaped the horrors of grades six through eight by retreating into the ivory tower of honors and AP.

My life slowly got better and so did my outlook on it.

For a short time chess team and quiz bowl made me feel like I had a place among my fellow students.

Scoring points and taking pieces made me feel like a winner, but those feelings fade and voices in my head that tell me that I’m not creep into my head against my will.

But I know that those voices are wrong and I prove it everyday by succeeding at university and by improving myself.






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