To Keep From Drowning

Mon, 11/01/2021 - 20:45 -- A.Lukas

Rough waters engulf me,

Swallow me whole

I can't breathe,

If I even want that goal

 

I'm forever trapped in this pitiful prison,

With cold, dark water filling my mouth,

My throat,

My lungs,

To keep me from crying out,

As if someone would listen

 

I feel a hand reach out to help,

But I let go

The current is too strong,

Either way, I don't want him to drown too though

 

I think back

To when the water first arrived

Was I pushed or

Did I jump?

To that knowledge I'll always be deprived

 

The water consumed me, and I can't see the light

I'm no longer sure

If I'm dead

Or alive

 

My chest burns,

But that's fine

I'm alone,

It's quiet,

It's peaceful

Yes, I'm drowning,

But there are worse ways to die

 

I think about all that I've done and been through

That nobody knows about

If only someone knew,

Then maybe I wouldn't be drowning

 

It's kind of sad

That society judges and dismisses

Without knowing what makes me, me,

But nobody listens

 

I wonder if it would be better

For those things to die with me

Maybe,

Just maybe,

That's not such a bad thing

 

My time is up,

But I've accepted my fate

I'm ready to die

There's no need to wait

 

I doubt anyone knows I'm here,

And I doubt anyone cares,

And even if they do,

It's not like anyone's saying their prayers

 

Finally I can relax

My life's a small price to pay

For the darkness that consumes me

To finally go away

 

I'll finally know happiness

I'll finally be free

Just take me already!

Take my life,

My fee

 

In the ice-cold water,

I wait for Death to reach in,

But a different hand grasps me,

He wants to help again

 

I pushed him away,

But now he's back

If I push away again,

That will be that

 

I don't get another chance

I have to choose now

Do I take his hand

Or push away

I can't decide

I wish I knew how

 

I know I should take his hand,

But I can almost feel him frowning,

And even still,

I'm not sure I have what it takes

To keep from drowning

 

A.L.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Wired6

Hi A. Lukas,a great insightful poem.

I'd like it 2 carry on,like an epic.

X

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741