An Infinite Sky Dive

I want it.
I miss it.
Even though all its caused me is pain and heartache.
I can’t talk about the past without building walls and iron gates locked down without key in sight.

But I want it so bad.
A moth to a flame,
I’m drawn in.
Desperate for those feelings of butterflies and stolen glances.

Giggles and inside jokes.
Delicate kisses and late night phone calls.
But what happens after that.
After all the wonder and awe.

When I realize yet again that I’m not actually floating, but falling.
When I see the clouds grow farther and the ground grow closer.
Its not falling I’m afraid of.
Thats what I want.

The rush of the fall.
Its hitting the ground.
Thats what scares me.
Hurts me.

Smacking the pavement because this leap doesn’t come with a parachute.