I'm Stuck on Repeat
I remember his eyes
That they reflected mine,
The golden encapsulated,
Red-flecked beauties
That so often got us confused
For brother
And sister.
I remember how they danced,
Traced the lines up my body
Drilled their holes
Through my spine.
I remember that
When he took a sip
Of that silver can,
His eyes kissed lashes
And I remember how beautiful
I thought that was.
I remember how his eyes,
Despite the
One,
Two,
Three
Cans he downed
Stayed focused on me.
But I remember,
Most of all,
How those golden eyes,
Our shared heart,
Flashed passion,
Before they caused pain.
Those eyes,
In their beauty,
Haunted me for days,
Months,
Years.
And at 18
I thought I had purged them
From my body.
But five years later
And I stare into a new boys eyes,
The ones I thought
Encompassed the ocean,
Defeated the sky,
Swallowed the fish
And enveloped the moon.
I stare as they watch my body
In my white graduation dress
That I thought looked
Oh
So
Pretty.
I stare into his eyes as he grabs my arm
And lifts up the band,
Releases.
I watch the welts form,
Ugly, red scarring on my
Porcelain arms.
I stare as eyes,
So foreign
But so familiar
Flash passion
As I go numb with pain.
I hold onto his eyes
And I do not let them go.
It is only when he leaves,
Kissing apologies into the air
That I realize
His eyes are green.