I was an ass.

I was shy but an ass.

When I worked up the courage to talk,

all this gross undeserved arrogance would spill out like:

"I'm probably smarter than you."

to one of the few who tried to talk with me.

Not to mention the pent up racism, homophobia, and classism.

Unacknowledged of course.

Sometimes I slip up a little, 

"Shut the fuck up, man." For no knowable reason to 

a dude who was innocence embodied 

with curly hair and serious social development issues

and I was really sorry--

Like, fuck! That was a dick move. 

The thought paralyses me that I'm a white tank top and 

my stains are so yellow and ugly

and it just looks bad and obvious

I hope I'm the only one remembering this

because no one wants to wear that shit.