The time that i didn't come home for a day

was because I thought

I was doing the right thing.

I thought that meaby

if i disapeared my family

was going to be happy.

That my mom was going to be happy

especially because

she had told me that she hated me

that she wished i was never born

that i was earth's abortion.

She didn't know how much those words hurted

And because of those words

I did not go home

and i thought that i was doing the right thing.

I wanted to commit suicide

My mom searched for me

She and her husband did

but they didn't find me

Until i finally appeared

She was angry

and i tried to explain but it

seems like

I'm just misunderstood

and hated

But the time i didn't go home

was because i thought

i was making her and her family happier

That my siblings wouldn't have a

bigger sister that was a good-for-nothing jackass

That my mom wasn't going to deal with me anymore

that she wouldn't have to look at me,

the reminder of a failed marriage

But so far i'm still holding on

to a pen and a piece of paper

I know it's hard but if i've managed this far

then so can you.