I Refuse.

Somewhere along the lines I stopped and decided

Not to let my whole identity get wrapped inside

What I thought you wanted—expected of me

I could not live being an insincere fake—I tried.


Tried to smile forever while weights pulled me back

And I succeeded—but my real self withered and died

And I can’t sacrifice the truth for a pretty lie

And choosing to be who I am is the hardest thing to decide


So here I am—in my honesty, I know it’s hard to see

But this chaotic mess, this imperfect girl is me


And I refuse to rewind to the past where I kept

Every part of me inside, so nobody ever knew

I’m tired of killing reality with sunshine and smiles

I’m ready and strong enough now to be true


This is me—it’s who I always was, beneath the mask

And this is who I am on my way to who I want to be

If you don’t like it—I try hard not to let it hurt anymore

Because nothing feels right if I’m being anything but me


So here I am in sincerity--open to the world to see

This is who I am and to be anything or anyone else,

I refuse.

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