I Refuse.
Somewhere along the lines I stopped and decided
Not to let my whole identity get wrapped inside
What I thought you wanted—expected of me
I could not live being an insincere fake—I tried.
Tried to smile forever while weights pulled me back
And I succeeded—but my real self withered and died
And I can’t sacrifice the truth for a pretty lie
And choosing to be who I am is the hardest thing to decide
So here I am—in my honesty, I know it’s hard to see
But this chaotic mess, this imperfect girl is me
And I refuse to rewind to the past where I kept
Every part of me inside, so nobody ever knew
I’m tired of killing reality with sunshine and smiles
I’m ready and strong enough now to be true
This is me—it’s who I always was, beneath the mask
And this is who I am on my way to who I want to be
If you don’t like it—I try hard not to let it hurt anymore
Because nothing feels right if I’m being anything but me
So here I am in sincerity--open to the world to see
This is who I am and to be anything or anyone else,
I refuse.