I fell in love with a boy

Who never loved me

And I knew that

But I did not leave

Time it would take

For a heart to love

When it never had loved before

 

I fell in love with a boy

With a smile so bright

And eyes like stars

Forming the constellation

Of my deepest joy

In those eyes I saw a boy

With a heart so big

Full of ambition

And impending love

 

I fell in love with a boy

A sweet, young face

With a pure, old soul

Whose emotions had not been expressed

In the form of words

 

Whether he knew not how to

Or knew not when to

A word had never been said

About the joy or the hurt in his heart

 

I fell in love with a boy

Whom I had lost sight of

For he hid away

Like I thought he might

Who during the silence

Pushed his heart

In a corner so dark

And his mouth had sewn itself shut

With the thread of his youth

 

I fell in love with a boy

Who made my heart ache,

Break and break more

With each new day spent without him

Knowing that I

Had said all I could say

And done all I could do

To make him want to stay

 

I fell in love with a boy

Who I never thought would return

Yet believed would

For the sake of believing

Knowing the possibility

And the mere thought of which

Would sooth my aching soul

 

I fell in love with a boy

Who made me fall in love with me

And the patience I mustered

From the joy of that constellation

That remains untouchable above me

 

I fell in love with a boy

Who made me fall in love with my own heart

And its size and shape

For it holds so much in its vastness

 

I fell in love with a boy

Who taught me to never give up

On the ones who I care so deeply for

Even when they hurt me

And push me away

 

I fell in love with a man

Who was not a man just yet

And whether he was the right boy

At the wrong time

Or the wrong boy

At the right time

I now know the capacity of my own beating heart