A winter's day

On a snowy and freezing evening

I am alone

Sitting in a room full of warm bodies

Surrounded by laughter and chatter

Imprisoned by monstrous emotions

I am falling to pieces, yet everything is intact.

 

I smile

So others don't question my state of being,

But it pains my heart

I smile as if nothing is wrong

I smile to hide from emotions that slowly devour my soul

I smile to appear strong

I smile to hide my weakness

 

The sorrow that torments my mind

The question that impales straight through my chest

Why was it you and not me!

Why?

How could an angel so dear to me

Leave this world without a footprint

Without a warning

I accuse myself of your departure

Why was it you and not me!

 

I can't reunite with you just yet

Because I have to keep my promise

I must live, love, and laugh

I must stay strong for those who fill my heart with joy

I must embrace the love you taught me

I must stay passionate about our agreement

 

I smile to continue living

I smile to be strong