Hope's Last Note

Dear Mother,

        I feel sick to know how much you need a break from me, to know that when you scream at my meager worthlessness, and dissapoint you, you do so not because of me but out of your own self pity. You're hurting every day; I can see by the way you look at me, at my sister and all around you. Your internal pain yearns for the place you got away to; the place you saw as home, away from people, and the suffering with just the ocean and the breeze. When did home turn to Hell? The darkness that brings out your inner demons? As your daughter, am I not good enough comfort to silence your fears, to soften your tears? You're suffering inside, your body rotting its mental state and I can't help you. I cannot end your suffering, your pain, with only two daughters that you hope will keep you sane in a world you don't want to be a part of anymore. The hardships are too hard to bare, so I'll try to ease your mind. I'll leave first, so follow behind if you wish and join me to cross the river stix. All I leave is this. I simply hope, as much as you, that the next world we can get through. No more lonliness, constant suffering, hallow feelings, the bickering and the squabbling. Only music for the both of us, songs of love that take hold of us, our dearest fears, and whisk them away. I pray this for you mom, let's end this day together. Tomorrow is for the forsaken, the damned and the living.





This poem was inspired by a feeling I had when I was fourteen. My father went to jail and watching my mom broke down made me angry. I began writing the poem in frustration, and as it progressed, my true feelings arose. I never thought I wanted to die, but knew that my mom did.

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