I made you believe me…

You didn’t have a reason to doubt…

Why would the first words I ever spoke to you

Be a lie?

It was psychotic.

It was protection.

It was my mask.

The curtain preventing you to see the real me.

I was still hiding the bruises and scars she left behind.

Who would want to remember ever being with this girl?

I didn’t.

I kept up the charade…

Afraid to let you know my past for fear you would see me as broken.

I had never been myself…

That is until I was around you.

I kept up that lie but it was the only lie.

That lie is what prevented “You and Me”

From staying a

“We.”

That lie kept me from really being me.

As long as that lie stayed a lie,

No truth ever coming to the surface,

Then no matter how much I was “myself”

You would never really and truly see me.

I threw open the curtain and pulled off the mask…

And now I can’t find you.

You didn’t run because of my past.

You ran because I didn’t trust you enough to be myself,

And share even the broken parts of me.

I put the mask back on…

I pulled the curtain closed again…

I don’t hide because you left.

I hide because of

Her.

I want Her in my past

And to just forget.

But I can’t move forward if I don’t move on.

I’m loud and have my own opinion.

I care about others and want to fix everything.

I love…

But I don’t…I can’t…Trust.

All because of

Her.

So you see me as shy and never saying a word.

Since I don’t talk you think I don’t care.

Since I don’t care then I must never want to fix anyone’s problems.

I can’t properly show that I love.

I can’t trust.

All

Because

Of

Her