Heaven > Religion

Why am I hiding from God?

Unlike Adam and Eve,

I put on a "Hello brethren, happy Sabbath" facade, instead of a fig leaf.

You know, just to cover the cruel nakedness of my unveiled heart, that no human can know; Jeremiah 17: 9

However, consider and keep in mind Yahweh,

The infinite being who cradled the stars in His hands.

The One who molded the first man out of sand, clay, or dust; depending on your translation.

The One who,

bestowing unfathomable power into a burning bush witnessing shepherd,

 broke the shackles off an entire nation, the Israelites.

 I am only a finite, feeble form,

incomparable to the magnificent being in which I reside during my decadent storms.

not wanting to be consumed by a world where sin is just the norm.

All this evil swirling around like a destructive storm.

But hey!

I'm dealing with my own doubt-provoking devils,

and you have yours.

I'm just the Adventist in this situation.



in the midst of this Sodom-like chaos,

He is infinitely aware of His daughter's own heart.

The words spilling out of my mouth cut through the bitter taste of uncertainty.

My tastebuds make haste, and

try to hold on to the sweetness that is His unwavering love and omniscience.

How ironic.

My trust in Him is quite unsteady, never unwavering.

The lavish lies of the devil are sweet music to my ears, too sweet, like sinfully syrupy symphony.


More still, trying to hold on to His consistent love and omniscience.

Omniscient: all knowing.

So, He knows every little thing.

Therefore, I must then reap the contradicting, confusing seeds I've been sowing,

in this garden I do not call Eden, but un-Eden, or, in fact, uneven.


He also knows that my weakness is music.



as I cautiously step into the sanctuary,

I am overwhelmed.

My human heart absorbs the serenity, but is still held back by the scrutiny of worldly pleasures.

I became persistent in the existence of my resistance towards Mwokozi wangu,

still acting like this perfect youth...

This perfect church girl.


Bethke once said this, "Religion is man searching for God, but Christianity is God searching for man."

Constantly, more and more over,

My denomination has made me question the foundations and institutions God has built upon to make this earth exist, and the people in it.

Because, in a quick instant,

in the blink of an eye,

This whole world will become ruins as the glorious trumpets sound.

And although the words, Lord, Lord, have tumbled out of my mouth far too many times than I can count,

He will search for me, saying, "Where art thou! For those in God's kingdom doubted me not."

Because I was too focused on being an Adventist, and drifted away from Christ Jesus.

This type of twisted Shakespeare threatens to rip away any mustard seed faith that told me,

"The end is nigh. Wait."

It negated to the possibility that I just might slip through the gates to weep at His feet, Magdalene.


This brings me back to square one:

Is "Hello brethren, Happy Sabbath," just a facade?

My eyes have been opened, seeing this cordial statement as a hindrance.

Ok, we might be the remnant church,

and the only church that actually practices the 4th commandment,

but answer this: Will the only occupants of Heaven be the people who stayed at church from the beginning of Sabbath school to the end of afternoon bible study?

Or will it be those who accepted Christ as their personal solace and Savior?

Be watchful, my brethren,

because that one meeting in the air,

can easily slip past your fingertips, like some not-so-holy water. 

This poem is about: 
My community


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