Many wonder why

Self-Inflicted

Inhibiting

"sigh"
I just

couldn't deal with it all

internal pain- in my weeping mind 

I couldn't take

couldn't cry

so I broke a mirror

my thighs- red

easy to clean-

easy to hide

a sting of the alcohol

over the dripping spider's web

cleared my mind

cleared my head

externalized what was inside

set it free

and the dull happiness

seemed to seep into me. 

They were only ever superficial-

a story they have told 

the scars-

they will be with me until I am old

maybe they are still there-

maybe they are not

but the remind me of self-taught lessons

that will never be forgot