Lying in bed wondering what I could have changed
The outcome of the day when you took your last breath and God called your name.
I wanted you to stay and didn't understand why it had to end
The hugs, the kisses, the encouragement I can't comprehend.
The pain I felt when you took your last breath.
Is this really the end? This really feels like death.
Not just for you but my heart stopped too
When I realized that this would be the last day I would see you.
I was named after you and never expected you to leave me so soon.
Our bond was so precious but now I’m alone in my room.
You told me I could do it and I need to be strong.
But sometimes grandma, I wonder if you had it all wrong.
I don’t feel the strength that you said is in me
But then you visit me in my dreams and still encourage me to be the best that I can be.
Now I have to pull myself up from my puddle of grief
And live the life you told me wouldn’t be easy but you lived it like a chief.
So I stand here tall now as an adult with your name.
And I promise Grandma Alease that I will try to do the same.