My relationship with my mother
Has been a series of trust falls
And she's never once caught me
.
But I keep leaning backwards
And hating myself
When I inevitably hit the ground
.
I worry I'd rather hurt myself forever
Then face the heartbreak
Of walking away from her open arms
.
It ends the same either way.
Laying on the floor,
Bruised, gutted, alone.
.
The way it all began
The way it's always been
The only way I know
.
I've heard it said
That "you attract what you are"
And I wonder if I'm a black hole
.
Desperate to crush itself into nothing
And dragging everything that gets too close
Into the dark
.
If only I could escape
The orbit of my own heart
I wonder if I'll ever make it far enough away
.
To fly