Friday

you come home from college

full of stories describing your

drunken antics,

a new affinity for the Spanish language,

and ambitions destined to take you

far away from me.

for a moment,

I am losing my smile.

Saturday

we meet in the Starbucks

where I first realized

I am in love with you

where we kissed for the first time

after so many months of

painful separation

where we would sit for

hours

hours

hours

talking about everything

from god to werewolves to your friends back at school.

I am losing track of everything

that ever made me sad.

Sunday

we go to church and sit close enough

I can feel the heat of your skin through my sleeves

and we go back

to the brown couches in my basement to

sleep

talk

fall back into the familiar pattern

of each other.

we are losing ourselves.

Monday

I have to go to highschool,

and you drive south

with your best friend

to visit the fourth of our group

while I am losing my patience

Tuesday

I text you and tell you

that I know what I want-

you

us

together

and I’m losing my sanity

waiting for your reply

“we’ll talk in person, I’m glad you told me :)”

Wednesday

you finally come home

and kiss me

against the wall

while your best friend stands and smiles

while I lose my breath

Thursday

we go get pizza

walk around a pet store

and you come to my concert

dressed in the black leather jacket

that makes me glad you’re mine

the one that

when I see you

makes me lose my train of thought

Friday

you apologize

with a fear-filled voice because

as always

our timing isn’t right.

I go to a different college in the fall

and the thought of hurting each other

is almost too much to risk.

almost"in the way

that we’re still together

we just lose the labels.

Saturday

we go to homestead gardens

and see the Christmas wonderland

with your mom who used to hate me

and your brother I’d never met.

you hold my hand

between the rows of ornaments

and I lose all uncertainty.

Sunday

we are back at church

back together in the back row

back to releasing our breath

because the time apart feels like we’re drowning

and the time together is like

the first taste of air

at the beginning of spring.

in your presence,

people’s judgment loses its sting.

Monday

we have no obligations

except to each other

which isn’t really an obligation at all.

the day passes quickly

with our friends and scary movies

as we always lose track

of time when we’re together.

Tuesday

you take me to the national harbor

to see the lights and to walk along the water

we go to dinner.

when we’re walking back to your car

you pull me in to kiss

and I get lost in the stars in your eyes.

Wednesday

Christmas Eve, quiet music

the promise of seeing you tonight

dressed in nice clothes

hair brushed, shirt buttoned

and that troublemaking leather jacket.

I lose my mind at the very sight of you.

Thursday

I can’t see you

and when I ask if you got everything you wanted

you simply reply

“no, because I haven’t kissed you yet today.”

and with those words

the day becomes bright again

and I lose the resentment I usually have

during family interaction.

Friday

we’re together again

with your best friend and mine

watching a dumb movie

and counting down until it’s just us.

we come back home,

each other’s arms,

and lose where my body ends

and yours begins.

 

four more Saturdays

then a

Sunday

Monday

will pass before you have to leave again

but when you do I will be okay

because I will lose a lot of things in my time with you

but you will not be one of them.