First Love


I have only made one really big mistake in my life
And it was with you
You were not my mistake though

I do not regret loving you
I do not regret how hard I tried to keep you
I do not regret anything I said to you

I cannot say that I did not understand why I loved you
Because I do know why
You were my illusion

You made me happy whenever I was with you
You became my escape
And that was where I made my mistake

You fed me lies
But I brushed them off
Because they were followed by poison

Sweet words that sank in deep
Filling my mind with dreams and promises that you could not keep
Which would later kill me in the end

I wonder now if I was really in love with you
Or the picture and future that you created
Because I wanted to leave where I was so badly

I should have known not to make you my escape
I should have known not to give you my heart
I should have known not to let you be my happiness

But I did not know
I could not have known
Because a first love can be overwhelming

But now I know
And being in love is something I fear
Because I learned that my heart could shatter


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