fear

Yeah, I’m afraid of everything

Especially myself.

I could make a fool of me

Without anybody’s help.

I do it all on my own,

Don’t ever forget,

Because the worst mistake I made

Was considering death.

It’s easy to forget

The precious life you own,

Forging a path to faith

But tripping on satan’s stone.

I feel the pain in my body,

Consuming like a drug.

I can’t look in the mirror,

Can’t even give my dad a hug.

I sat in that room alone,

Quite metaphorically,

Isolating myself-

Just my sadness and me.

My blade took its time

Cutting into my skin,

But I stopped before it started

And let fear win.

Thank God for that moment,

My emotional doubt,

Would’ve died on my own.

And after that was a drought.

I’m back in this room,

Trying to recall why,

I took for granted it all:

Every bit of my life.

It’s hard to accept

The mistakes I’ve made,

But I’m bigger than that fear

And I beat death’s crusade.

Some days I hated myself

And some I didn’t care

What happened to me,

Or who was even there.

I despised myself then,

And resent me for it now,

But isn’t that still hatred?

Is it different somehow?

Self-acceptance is difficult-

Its competitor is fear

And in my heart, I can feel it

Always so near.

But I’ve conquered it once,

And I’ll do it again.

I’ve faced death once,

And I’ll beat it again.