dear anxious self,

when your brain cannot stop thinking

and your heart beats in object terror

at things only the mind’s eye sees -

breathe.

 

when your thoughts run circles ‘round reason

and your head swims with ‘what ifs’ and what-nots

of things done with and gone -

breathe.

 

when the floor feels like it’s giving out beneath you

and the room spins thousand rotations fast

propelled by crackling synapses -

breathe.

 

and when you feel like you cannot breathe anymore -

pray.

 

because then you do not breathe by yourself.

 

take comfort in the silence;

in stillness that may allow ripples

but never break surface;

in quiet that exists in four chambers;

where the heart returns

to speaking softly

words only God can hear -

 

dear God

i am so tired

so so tired

and laden

with anxieties

that always seem to slip it and eat, eat, eat away at whatever edifice i had built as protection.

obviously, it wasn’t strong enough -

my castle built on sand was swept away at once by a roaring tide.

 

help me build a sturdy house

with fortifications strong

so when the winds blow and buffet the house

it groans not

because the wind cannot overcome it.

 

 

so dear anxious self, pray when you feel like you cannot breathe

because then you do not breathe by yourself.

 

speak softly and be at peace.