When I was five I had a Daddy

He was tall and kind

And he called me his princess

But he was scary when he was mad

I told a fib and he grabbed my arm

And dragged me to his room

With a paddle in hand

“This is what happens to liars.”

And he would spank me

As hard as you could spank a five year old

Daddy was mean

I didn’t talk to Daddy about much

“How was school, Princess?”

“Good.”

And the conversation ended

Because I was five

And scared that Daddy

Would get his paddle

If I said the wrong thing

 

When I was ten I had a Dad

And I would hear him and Mom

As they screamed at each other

And he took Brother away

To live in another state

Mom was scared to lose Brother

So we moved too

When we arrived

Dad was controlling

“You can’t be her friend,

She’s a bad influence.”

I would object

“You’ve only met her once.”

And he would yell

I was scared to talk

At the dinner table

 

When I was fourteen I still had a Dad

But I didn’t want to

He was cruel

He called me a “damn psycho”

For a neurochemical deficiency

That he caused

And when he snapped

I did too

And I took his power away

Dad was angry

And I was scared

But I stood my ground

And he didn’t have power

Over me anymore

I was free

 

As I am nineteen

I turned my fear of Dad

Into motivation to succeed

Because he told me I wouldn’t

And a flame of spite

Fueled me to graduate

To pursue college

To start over

So while Dad was mean,

Angry,

And scary;

I was powerful,

motivated

And I became everything

He refused to believe in.

Fear of him

Will not hold me captive anymore

Getting over my fear of him

Will lead me to do great things.